Saturday, December 29, 2007

hands, heads and dirt

I'm begging you people ... please put away your dirty rags. Please.

Mangled glove. At least this one is somewhat interesting looking. I swear, I think the little guy is obsessed with rags and gloves. You have no idea how many of them I've seen in my house.

Simon ended his day around 1am with a nightcap.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

almost there

I think he was feeling lazy. Not only is this MY bag that was in the garage, but he gave up and just left it sitting there, stuck in the cat door. I guess when he can't find anything to his liking out in the world he peruses the garage and takes something from there, or he pilfers it when doesn't feel like leaving the house. I'm on to him, but I can't really complain. Having my own belongings moved about my home is still better then the dead mouse he brought in a few nights ago.
And to Andrew, who is doubting Simon's abilities, I 'll quote a friend of mine who, at a party one night, during discussion about Simon, said "I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. I've never seen Jesus but I've seen Simon dragging a bag over the fence. That shit is for real!".
Can't really argue with that.
Oh, and the catcam is undergoing some technical problems (like it hasn't worked yet). But there is video coming ... it just may take awhile.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Simon says...

Merry Christmas!
My favorite thing about this stocking is, if you look very closely, you'll notice that there's still a tack attached. I really hope he didn't grab this off someone's mantle but if he did ... sorry about that Monica.

Friday, December 21, 2007

hand it over

This is the conversation I just had after returning from dinner and finding this hand towel on my floor:
"Is this ours or Simon's?"
" think that's Simon's. Is that blood?"
"I'm not sure. Can you tell?"
"I'm not touching that thing."
"I need to shoot it for the blog."
I decided the red had a little too much violet in it for blood. But it was still nasty.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

if the glove fits

Yes, he did take the neighbor's glove ...

and his other glove ...

and then he went and grabbed the mates.

He also threw in a rag just to mix things up a bit.
The little guy had quite a busy night. But the appearance of the items a day after the missing glove alert was sounded by my neighbor does throw some question into Simon's thieving ways. Until now I just assumed that he walked around the neighborhood, found something he liked, and brought it back into the house. But where was he hiding the first two gloves for more then a day? A friend has pointed out that maybe Simon has a safe house where he hides his hot items until the time is right to bring them back home. I mean, would I really be surprised to find a stash of stolen items hiding behind a bush somewhere in my hood? No, not at all.
So, as I handed my neighbor his missing gloves this morning he declared that he was going to have to "simonize" his yard. How cool - my cat's name has become a verb.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

love your rug

Somewhere in my neighborhood someone woke up and thought "where is my rug? who would steal something like that?"

Simon. That's who.
Today, within an hour, two of my neighbors knocked on our door asking if Simon had brought home their belongings. The first guy was holding two gloves, two different gloves, each with a missing mate. The best part is that he sounded almost apologetic as he explained that he 'accidently' left his gloves outside - as if he was taunting Simon and he knew it and now felt bad. The second person was the twelve-year-old son of neighbors two doors away from the first guy. He was baring holiday treats and a pleas for a pair of moccasins. Neither the glove nor the shoes have made their way through our cat door. Of course that doesn't mean that Simon didn't take them, he probably did, and we'll most likely see them in the coming days. And yes, we'll return them. It is almost Christmas after all - peace on earth, good will toward men, and return stuff your cat has stolen - that's the spirit.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007


Size 11.5 Nikes. So big they wouldn't even fit through the cat door. I found these waiting in my garage, I guess somehow Simon knows that shoes come in pairs and it's important to grab both of them. Is there any doubt that Simon rules? I didn't think so.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Time to dry off

After two live geckos Simon finally went back to inanimate objects. Unfortunately (mainly, because it's boring) he is currently on a rag kick. He does this. There was the glove phase, then a shoes phase, then a what-the-hell-is-that phase. I'm not sure what drives him to bring home what he does but I'm figuring out that it is all rather calculated. Maybe this week he'll move on to various denominations of money. One can only hope...