Thursday, November 1, 2007

F.A.Q.'s

1. Are you for real?
Yes. You can't make this up.
2. Has he ever brought home money?
No, but I keep waving twenties in his face hoping he'll get the point.
3. Do you keep this stuff?
Of course. We currently have one 4x3 foot container filled and another box for new things as they come in.
4. Have your neighbors complained?
Not to us. But once a little girl did stop by asking if we'd seen her missing shoes. We had. In our kitchen. So we pulled them out of the box and gave them back. We try to be nice when
we can.
5. How did this start?
An open door and a ski mask. Appropriate I thought.
6. Have you ever asked him to bring home something specific?
I once needed a tire gauge and came home that night to find a bag with 5 gauges in it on my doorstep. For real.
7. What is Simon like?
He's a little on the small side, but makes up for it in personality. Hobbies include slapping the dog around and making slow, precise, biscuits on whoever will volunteer their belly.
8. What's the strangest thing he's brought home?
An outdoor lounge cushion that was three feet long.
9. How does this go down?
He generally (unless the item is too big - see above question) bolts through his cat door holding his 'find' in his mouth, then he'll take the item to our dining area, drop it and let out an 80 decibel meow letting us know he brought us something. He'll then get lots of praise.
10. Does he bring home animals?
Unfortunately yes. Sometimes the killer in him comes out. So far we've had mice, grasshoppers, geckos and birds. All in various stages of living or dead.
11. Does he have any 'favorite' items?
No, but rags seem to show up a lot. If there's anything I've learned about human nature from this it's that people love rags.
12. Have you ever used anything he's brought home?
After returning from an out-of-town trip I found a scarf on a chair, mistakenly thought it belong to our house sitter and wore it. Three days later she told me it wasn't hers. I scrubbed my neck for hours. The housesitter pointed out that "that's what I get" for wearing her stuff. Point made.

2 comments:

So-lo said...

:) I love your blog. Your cat is an amazing critter.

jpuryear said...

The first burglarly I witnessed involved Simon wrestling with a red wig. He was tossing around with it in the backyard - it was as gross as it was intriguing.